okies....so i fink im officially don wif this blog ^^ ....i have bout 9 of em now plus myspace n thats jes wayyyyyy too much lol.....so heres ma otha blogs n myspace if ur interested ^^

http://findingthebishywithin.blogspot.com/

http://mybabykins.blogspot.com/

http://www.myspace.com/angelicbishy

n omg!!!!!!!!! ima engaged ima engaged!!!!!!!!!! yay =D =D =D i love you brett =D

Moving

im kinda a mess atm......ive decided i have ta leave today....i don do goodbyes....n i don do "cyas" well....talkd ta brett.......my bro rick.....n dawn among a few othas.....my sis isnt bouts n id fall apart even more so if she was.....shes been my strength l8ly......this is the hardest thing ive done n my life....leave behind one of the best things n my life.....my man.......among a few very very dear friends......i love you all soooooooooo much........n yes damnit my man {ik not technically mine try tellin my damn heart that tho it aint havin none of that bs} made me smile through my tears even now.....i hope ta come back n win his heart ova again.....n finally make things rite for him......hes sumfin special even if he don c it....i do =) .....i always have.......hes my crazy ebul panda seal bib boi among many otha things =p~ ......n i will b back for his heart.......im takin a part of him wif me.......w/o it i wouldnt make it ........so ik ill b okies.......wif that said.....i dunno when ima b back.......whenever i find wat ima looxn for....n thats myself.......may take longer n i hope.....n i have it on good authority *coughs* that this is a test of sorts.....n that if i do still love my man when i return....n he still loves me.......we NEED ta work things out.....so she said =p......r sumfin like that.......gah.....ive been cryin n laughin n cryin s'more......tears r put away now cuz my dads up n hes gonna make me pull the plug on my puta n help load the truck up ugh!!!! as if i don wanna so hmphs.......jk .....sorta =S.....neways.....*sighs*......gah......honestly im breakin my own heart by leavin....leavin behin sum very dear ppl.....lovin funny crazy......jes like me i spose sum would say.....whoda thunk it ? but they all mean alot ta me.....my bro......keep ya head up hun.......n STOP WORRYIN SO DAMN MUCH!!!! thought id say that cuz ik ur too much like me that way......ta my sis......i love you so much sweetie....but chin up my dear twin =p....ur one tuff bishy.....ya have ta b ta b my sis n put up wif alla my bs now eh? =p tc of yaself missy......ta my nutty lil friend up north of moi.....dawn......i shall miss makin u spit on ya monitor....but i will b bak n i wont take it easy on ya.....n ofc i save the best for last......my dearest brett.....u r the best thing ta ever happen ta me....YOU have always been enuff despite wat u still think....you yourself was all i wanted n needed........still is.......when you look n the mirror.....tell that guy lookin back at you hes a pretty decent guy......n he does deserve ta b happy....cuz i said so n ik everythin =) {r so i like ta think at times} ta everyone else plssssssssss close ur eyes =D fanx baby this is for you n you only........ { *kisses u softly wif all the love she feels for you* } take care of that special man of mine damnit....need him ta b n shape ta kick my ass at checkers when i get back now don i? o btw....i love you brett ....n i will when i come back too =) ull c.....

neways yalls tc n i will b back as soon as i find wat ima looxn for......miss yall muchlies......
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well as of the 1st of may i wont b callin this home nemore....i guess i will but it wont b the place i lay my head down ta sleep nemore....we r goin up ta chris's tonite n takin my hottub wif.....she bought it from me since she wanted ta help out n jes give me money but i wasnt havin ne of that....so ya lol......cara n mason r takin his car n jer is borrowin nates truck for the drive up ta des moines n ima borrow sum suitcases etc etc......n the four of us r gonna spend the wknd up there wif stone n chris....then come back n start packin n head there next wknd....im scared more than anything....ive never been too far from home.....n when jer leaves itll jes b me n cara......this is the rite thing....ik this cuz im bout ta back out....s'why i talkd cara inta goin back sooner n even she had plannd.....the last post ya seemd a bit peeved.....well thats cuz i was......i don get y i cant jes let go like he has.....meh....he thinks ima happy w/o him...as if......he will never kno how much i love him.....n i will never understand y i still do even now =`( ....

newhos....i gotta get away from this online bs too.....n yes i wont lie i am runnin.....but if i don i will lose myself completely n things.....n i wont have ta stick round n c how things turn out....meh........when i come bak ill b stronger......n ill b the person i was b4 i started ta get lost....

fukn hell........this love shit.....i want out......hes gone.....along wif his love.....so y am i still here? so he can play his lil games wif me......sayin bla bla ima move on like he fukn cares.....sayin c u can b happy w/o me........ha......good ta kno my act fools sum ppls at least i guess.....i need ta get the fuk outta this place soon.....im lost n if i stay ima lose myself completely.....i want outta here....i want outta love........who the fuk am i kiddin i don want outta love i jes want things ta b okies *cries n screams* fukn hell ......its like he expects me ta cry on his shoulder still....ya ima cry on ya shoulder that i want u back so u can continue messin wif my head....messin wif my heart n emotions....act like u care bout me movin on wif sum otha guy when u fukn don give a flyin fuk .....n then act all fukn innocent like u dunno wtf ur doin ta me......so wat if i move on? u don care so stop buggin on it......jes fukn stop ya games.....im notta fukn game ta b playd wif....

forever & always

forever :
For everlasting time; eternally
At all times; incessantly
A seemingly very long time
for a limitless time
seemingly without interruption; often and repeatedly
for a very long or seemingly endless time

always :
At all times
For all time; forever
At any time; in any event
at all times; all the time and on every occasion
seemingly without interruption; often and repeatedly
at any time or in any event
forever; throughout all time

two of the most over used words n the world....*shakes her head*....two words ive lost faith n....theres only two things i thought lasted forever n always....one is goodbye....the otha true love....meh....mayb ive jes lost faith n love.....ppl should think b4 they speak....when u say forever/always sumtimes ppl believe u.....

they say u go back ta wat u kno when ur lost....this blog is wat ik....n lost.....ha......im more n that....i tried startin notha blog....jes dint feel rite.....so here i am once again.....n idc if neone even reads this....i never started this for neone ta read it....ive been round for a lil ova a yr now......started this blog after one of my moments n lack of judgement wif a certain person......i started comin online for a break from my hectic life......never imaginin id b sittin here ova a yr l8r....n have so much ta look back at.....lets c.....ive had two small crushes {james & rob} when i first started....n soon after i met mark......*shakes her head*....lookin back i cant honestly say if he ever askd me out or not....n thats not really the point....the whole thing wif him taught me sumfin....ppl r not wat they seem.....not here.....even i myself was one of these ppl.....not nemore.....i no longer care wat neone thinks of me....im me......take it or leave it.....n i can say that honestly cuz sumone taught me ta b strong enuff ta b myself....neways....i wont recap cuz ik wat ima talkin bout n like i said i don expect nor care if neone reads this.....of the ppl ive met one of the first ones would b my online bro rick.....n i still talk ta him today....among a few others.....this blog soon turned from the confusion of wat i thought was love....ta me actually findin my first true love......our ups n downs....n how we stuck together through it all.....til now.......durin alla this a few friends ive lost.....n a few.....well i guess we jes dint make the time.....*shrugs*.....thats the way of life tho....sum ppls come n sum ppl go....wif true friends u never have ta worry bout hearin "goodbye".....ive had ta grow up alot this past yr......n sum ppls c online life as completely diff from the real world....i don....i stayd hidden behind a front of sorts i led ppls ta believe was me....im good at that.....puttin on a face ppls can accept......the happy one......s'why i started this blog......i needed sumwhere ta take that face off......now im not sure i need this ne longer.....idc wat ppl think of me.....im me.....sumone showd me how ta stand on my own two feet.....n face the world head on.......mayb ive lost this person outta my life as he used ta b as i wish i hadnt.....but he has made me a better person.....a stronger one.....that doesnt mean i even so much as like myself now....i jes kno if ppls don like me for me they r not worth my time....i don change for neone but myself.....ive had plenty of things that have caused me ta not only grow up but b strong enuff ta take the next few steps of my life on my own.....wif this said i have decided ta move wif a friend of mine....wasnt spose ta til mid of next month....but now that ive given her my answer that i will b going shes anxious ta get back......this is the email i sent out ta a few ppls ta let em kno wat was goin on if they cared...
I've been asked to move to Arizona with a friend of mine. I've decided this is the best thing for me at this time. I've been lost even more so of lately, and I guess you could say I'm going to try to find my niche in the world. Somewhere I feel like I belong. I have completely stopped my schooling for the past several months because of home life issues etc. And I will be continuing my schooling there. And I will also have a few options as to different part time jobs as well. For those of you who have taken the time to get to know me, I will miss you. But I need to do this for me. My home situation is not one of the best and I need to get away from it and learn how to make it on my own now. My parents are in the process of getting a divorce finally and things are not nice around here. My dad is dealing with whatever so I can live on my own, otherwise I would end up having to move with my mom once the divorce is final. And that just isn't going to happen. Anyways, I'm not sure if I'm keeping my computer or not. I may either sell it for extra money though I don't need it, or I may keep it in case I do ever move back. I'm not sure of much at the moment other than this is whats best for me. I would say this move isn't going to be permanent but I've been told once I get there I won't want to come back, so I won't make empty promises. I will be around for at least another week after that I'll be busy packing and what not. Sorry I'm not big on goodbyes, so if you wish to talk before I go ya. Take care all. Angel Lynn Smith
of the friends i thought i had made...only two have askd me ta stay n touch....guess that says it all really....i may come back ta find they r the only ones who even remember so much as my name....let alone me......then again time changes ppl....i don expect ta come back the same young naive lost and sad girl i will b leavin as.....i hope ta come back as a young lady who knos her place n this world.....wif confidence....knowin no matter wat the world throws at me i can handle it.....on my own.....n mayb wif a lil help from sum true friends when needed....the naive lil girl inside of me hopes ta come back ta find him w8n for me......enuff said wif that one.......life goes on.....ppl move on... even if we don want em ta.....life goes on......even if we don move along wif it.....

ik the last post was spose ta b the last post ever for this blog...but this one is for sure....i started this blog ...n then i found my first love...the love of my life...n as a few ppls kno the last day has been a bad one for me...the worst one ever if im goin ta b honest wif myself...the pain i feel is so immense i cant put it inta words...n as im cryin as i type this ima try n make it short...yes im home...no im not okies...n i don think i ever will b....the hardest words ta hear from neone r goodbye...i heard them last nite...the love of my life...my other half...{better half at that} tol me goodbye....*cries*....that is y this is the end of this blog...this blog dint start out ta b a diary of r rela....but thats pretty much wat it soon became...i wont delete it...sumday when im not n so much pain i will b able ta come back n loox at it...but knowin i lost my soul mate...i jes cant deal wif it now...thx ta those ive gotten ta kno on via this blog....im now sayin goodbye ta this blog tho...


goodbye is forever....
=`(

this is officially the last post for this blog....it was nice knowin yalls.....thx for everythin....tc of urselves....goodbye =`( ....

Dr. Dawn

a big thx goes out ta dawn for keepin me n check...if it wasnt for her i wasnt goin ta come back at all...theres no way i can repay her for how shes helpd me...
" If you want things to work out between the two of you, then you HAVE to get past these mental barriers you've put up."
"Try to get past the mental barriers and give trust a chance. "
u ever had that person who tells u wat u need ta hear? whether u wanna hear it r not??? lol....this is a good thing tho...sumtimes u need sumone ta tell u how it is...i dunno wat ive done ta b able ta call this person my friend...but ik friends like her r rare...n im thankful for all shes done for me...thx hun...*huggles*
{ps...if i had the $$ ur check for services rendered would b n the mail=p}

its time ta come outta the closet so ta speak....NO im not a les r nuffin like that...jes time ta b honest...im not blond...nor am i thin....ima brunette....n atm i weigh 164lbs..yes...u heard me rite...thats after losin 11lbs....bleh....will i eva post a pic of myself on my blog...no i wont...this is the secret ive kept for bout a yr r so...n only a few ppls kno bout this...those who read my blog ona reg basis already kno this bout me...*sighs*.....so there it is....as ta my last post...the past is now ashes...n thats where i plan ta leave it...im done runnin...im done hidin...bretts stuck by me wif the hell ive put him through...its time ta stick round n work things out...cuz hes worth it...hes so worth it...n its time i gave him n r rela my all...its time i stoppd throwin the past/mistakes at him...n face wat im really scared of...wat the real probs r...its me...my fears...my insecurities...n as hard as they will b ta overcome...im goin ta do it...RAWR!!!

=`( ....i dunno wtf im doin nemore...im home again..early ta stop sumone from worryin ova me..sumone who thinx i don care...sumone i love wif my all....everytime we fite i think bout the past...RAWR!!! ik wat ima do....im write down everythin...from the past....n ima burn it all.....*sighs*...n when the last of the fire is gone....im hopin that will bring sum sorta peace ta my soul...my heart...its time ta let go...the past is jes that..the past...its time ta work on the here n now...once the past pains r burnt out...i will NOT bring w/e up again...i will NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT!!!!!! its gone n done n ova...thats it...as for the otha inner struggles ive been havin...self esteem issues etc etc...thats sumfin ima have ta continue workin on...y do i have such a hard time wif things wif him....gah...i want...i want the negative voices n my head ta stop...the ones tellin me im not enuff...not ta trust....ta run n never look back....ive come so close ta jes goin n not even sayin goodbye...ta cuttin the string tyin my heart ta him...n never lookn back...cuz i don wanna kno r c the pain i may r may not have caused ta sumone i love so much....i need him...but does he really need me??? how do ik if he does r not??? the amount of emails i get from him?? the amount of times he says "i love you"??? *cries*.....neways im off ta make the list ta burn n forget bout....tis way past time....

the 3 nutsketeers =p {3/10}

okies this mite b a lil long...i couldnt quite decide wat ta put n wat not ta put...but me n coupla otha nuts had quite the time last nite...hehe...no names but u kno who u r =p

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
slides down on her ass
lol
lmao
dun mind me, imma in a weird mood tonight
imma blame ***** :P
well kno u wif 2 nuts:P
It shows
lmao
lol
I know all too well what it's like to have 2 nuts
lol hunnie, two nuts is all ya need :P
rofl
lmao
*coughs*
lol
*chokes*
c wat i have ta put up wif ****?
ebulness i swear it
lol
he corrupted innocent lil moi
*Innocent*
Ha!
lmfao yeah well dun ferget you make me spit all over ma screen!
You were naughty before I met you
pfft was not
*chokes again*
lol I heard about that
lmao
Alllll her fault!
(A)
lol
pffffffffffft, see how the halo is wonky there?
well if he deserves a day i do too damnit
lmfao
hmph
lol
Mum agreed with that
*throws a tanty*
hahahahaha
Year 8 kids who were sent to the sick bay at school were colouring in tampons with red texta and throwing them out the window yesterday, and the watering system came on last night.
omfg!
lmao
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oooooooooops
lol
Nut
lmao
who u callin nut u nut?
I ain't no nut
am I?
aitey i need a potty break b4 me wet meself on account of u 2s:P
lmfao
lol
bleh I sound like a donkey on speed ffs!
*falls offa her chair ina fit*
lol
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ahhwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
rofl
omg
lol
Arf! Arf!
lmao omg he so does that seriously
fukn seal noises
rofl
pmsl
lol
among many otha ones
*Makes hippo noises*
hippos make noises?
lmao
wtf
They do now. :)
lmao
lol
*checks a zoology report*
lmao
*shakes her head n tried ta catch her breath*
lol
woooo doggy
I dun wanna woo a doggy, I did that wif ma ex and by god he was a dog alright!
lmao
feckin nose like pinnochio ffs
eh?
lol
*confuzzled*
you bever saw pinnochio?
nver too
feck
lmao
lol
NEver!
i htought u said beaver
lol
wtf
rofl
So did I
omg
I can't stop laughin!
cant c ta type
lol
lmao
oh how original is this? a tv cook show called sugar
all she makes is desserts
hmms not so original id say
oooooooh
chocolate
*drewlz*
*hands **** *****'s bib*
lol
*****'s bib?
ummm ....
??
lmfao
tis a joke
lol
well why din ya say that ffs
here's me finkin you was bein all kinky
I was bout to suggest ya gets a room dammit
lmao
lol
well don ask wat its for then:P
lol
lol
*Hides*
wll wtf ya expect lol when ya type fings like dat?
*loox at ***** *
ask him
* fergets ta breathe*
lol
omfg!
*****...it's okay
I'll spare ya
lol
lol
Luckly me
lmao
:P
n ima get a big ol marker
n write
PEPPY on it
lol
*refuses ta ask*
lol
It's safer that way, ****.
lmao
hmms..lets jes say his "story" was edited
*coughs*
lol
rofl
omfg
lol
Jane loves Tarzan <--------- ain't that s'posed ta be the other way round?
lol
mm i fink so ya
lol
well someone fucked their blog name up then!
*pounds on her chest n makes tarzan noises*
ooooooooooooiajfoeianfaoiiooooooooooooooooooo
lol
omfg
you bitch!
I spat again!
brb
gotta grab tissues!
*hangs her head n shame*
lol
c..this way she neva has a dirty screen
me makes sure :P
lol
no but it gets sticky
So does mine
and not from ****'s bad aim either! :P
lol so does *****'s...erm
i mean wat?
For different reasons I hope
lol
lol
and when I say ****'s bad ain. I really mean ...erm ... never mind ...
aim*
lmao
lol
Goes for the mouth... You move... It hits the computer screen... You complain that he's a bad shot
That what ya mean?
rofl
lmfao
*Hides*
I spit honey!
okay ... I so did NOT just say that!
Ummm... Charming
lmfao
Yes, you did just say that.
feck
no
she typied it
typed* even
lmao
lol
Smartarse
wtf typied
typied.... I like that rofl
lol
Phrase Of The Week: Typied.... Meaning: What happens when ya high on caffeine and lurvin
lmao
lol
lmfao
rofl
*is soooo fuckin killing herself laughin*
I have a blog too *****
I know
I posted earlier tonight and ***** read it
and then she's here sayin she was lost lol
im always lost
lol
***** leads me astray
lol
Then have my way with you, and lead you back.
dear gawd above
*hastily shuts her eyes*
did you find ma blog?
Yeah
okies
lol ur lucky if he eva leaves a comment
me n ***s talkd ages bout how ta get him ta leave one lol
lmfao
Who?
Me?
you!
u
I leave some
so is that before you wank or after?
After.
I mean.. What?
lmao
*Hides*
lmfao
omg....dyin....must breathe....
lol
lol
if I wake *******, I'm so blaming you guys
kies ***** if she stop sbreathin tis ur job ta wake **** up ta give her cpr
yeah...touch me bewbs and imma scoop yer balls out wif a rusty spoon
lmao
lol
Ye-arg!
Me be-ith a pirate!
lmao
*Struts around in his pirate pants*
lmao
omg
u memba that post of urs ****?
rofl
of those pants?
omfg!
lol
rofl
hold on a sec
imma find the pic
lol
Argh!
mayb they make sum for giants 2 babe:P
lol
Maybe
IF so, don't buy me a pair.
awww:(
lol
Awww
If you're a good girl i'll wear them
picccyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
rofl
But I aint going outside
I'll probably get deported
lmfao
omg u found it
Thank god I can't see it
yeah lmfao
don leave much ta the imagination tho:P
oh you can't?
Nope
And I intend to keep it that way
*****, imma send it to you an you send it to him k?
kkies
...
Why would I accept it?
It shows a guys cock
cuz u wuv me :P
lol
it dun show a guys cock
well
not as such
And that's why i'm accepting a picture of some guy dressed a pirate with his dick sticking to the side of his pants?
*Sighs*
lmao
yups
dats y:P
u wuv me plain n simple:P
*giggles insanely*

=`(

had a dentist apt today..had ta come home ta get sum things of mine cuz im spendin sumtime at a friends place for a bit...dunno how long but thought id do a quick lil post while i was here...my mouth is fukn killin me now that the numbies r wearin off *cries*...add ta that i have 3 dentist apts set up for next month =O ......bleh...newhos i have ta go watch a friends lil rugrat for the next coupla hrs....n i prolly wont b round home ta do nemore posts for a few days r longer...tc yall.....l8rs...